


Chocolate Milk

by AmanaMistleaf



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Claude von Riegan is a dumbass, Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan, Established Relationship, Existential Crisis, F/M, Fluff, Hot Chocolate, Moronsexual Byleth, Post-Golden Deer Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:28:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24496480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmanaMistleaf/pseuds/AmanaMistleaf
Summary: Claude believes chocolate milk comes from brown cows. Byleth has to break the news to him.
Relationships: My Unit | Byleth & Claude von Riegan, My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 69





	Chocolate Milk

**Author's Note:**

> don't ask questions

Nights in Derdriu were always cold, thanks to the ocean. Byleth was told the temperature would mellow out as the warmer seasons progressed, but the winds of early spring tested her patience. During the winter, it was common for her to sleep with four blankets. 

No wonder Claude wore that puffy coat during the war; the winds must have been horrible while he flew. Speaking of the man, what Byleth would have given to spend just one night curled up in his arms during the cold season -- he was a human furnace whose body heat rivaled the sun. But, he was in warm, sunny Almyra for a few months, leaving Byleth to freeze every night.

But, he was back, albeit a short while, and the queen could _finally_ waste the night away in his arms.

Byleth stepped into her sitting room, wearing one of Claude’s nightshirts (she refused to buy proper pajamas: her financè’s old shirts worked just fine) and hair still damp from her bath. In her hands were two warm mugs of hot cocoa, the steam curling ever so slightly as it rose through the air. 

Claude, who was lounging on one of the couches, turned his head in the direction of the doorway, a soft smile gracing his lips - either from the smell of the sweet beverages or the sight of his fianceè. He too was dressed down for the night, matching Byleth’s sleepwear. His hair was down and messy, covering his emerald green eyes.

“Sorry that I took so long,” Byleth spoke softly, padding over to the seating area and setting down the mugs. “Apparently, being queen means everyone wants to talk to you.”

Claude outstretched his arms, pulling Byleth into a cozy embrace. “They just want to make sure you’re okay,” he hummed, nuzzling his face into her mint-green hair.

She rolled her eyes, lazily reaching out for a mug but not even coming close to reaching it. The Almyran king chuckled at that, using his much longer arms to reach for and hand her a mug of cocoa. “The battle was two days ago, I’m fine.”

“You passed out immediately after, love!” Claude exclaimed, taking his own drink in hand. “Of course, they’re concerned!”

“Well, I’m fine, and this is our time, now.” Byleth nuzzled closer to him, looking up with the sweetest of looks.

The king breathed a laugh. “I taught you well.” He took a sip of his drink, letting out a satisfied hum at the flavor. “You know, I don’t think I’ve seen a brown cow around Derdriu.”

Byleth raised a brow at that. “Yeah, so?”

Claude looked at her with the same amount of confusion. “So how do we have access to chocolate milk?” He took another long gulp of the drink. “Chocolate milk comes from brown cows, right?”

Byleth’s entire body short-circuited, eyes going wide. “I-I...what?”

“Did you not know that?”

_This man led the Alliance -- and is the king of freaking Almyra!_

Byleth set her mug down, taking Claude’s as well. “Khalid von Riegan, I need you to look at me.” She took his head in her hands, making their eyes meet. “You don’t _actually_ believe that, right? Please tell me you’re pulling my leg.”

He frowned. “Where...where else would it come from?”

“Claude...brown cows make normal milk. Like, milk you get from any other cow.”

Byleth watched the man slowly break into pieces, his beautiful green eyes clouding over. “Th-then where does chocolate milk come from, Teach?! Where do we get chocolate milk?!” he exclaimed, breaths quickening. “If not brown cows, what?!”

 _This man is the father of my future children._ “From milk mixed with chocolate, my love.” She cradled him to her chest, softly stroking his hair as his entire world collapsed. “You have to make it. It doesn’t come from a natural source.”

Claude released a string of unintelligible noises as he buried his face further into his fianceè’s chest, allowing himself to completely melt in her embrace. “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you. I’m right here,” she cooed, trying her absolute best not to break out into laughter. “Huh, who would have thought the Master Tactician would be bested by some chocolate milk?”

Her worlds helped very little.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Pride, everyone! We can't forget about moronsexuals, which Byleth is repping like a champ. Claude von Riegan is a dumbass and we love him. Someone give this man an F and some choccy milk.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this hot mess!


End file.
